Wow, that is 2.922 days (in a row) damn has my life changed and it has been amazing both good and hard but I learned so much about me and what I am capable of ~~
I still "remember" (the day of the "TRUTH" serum) when I figured it out as it was Today February 15, 2013 at 930am and two members of The City Of Edmonton Police Service (E.P.S.) came into my home at BWC and put it to me as and all I recalled and still recall was the thing (words) they said with one Officer looking at my Book Rack and the other Officer in my head, was this
"You threatened to punch your psychiatrist in the head, over the phone to his receptionist"
I am shaken and rattled and I can't stop shaking and I am now popping Benzodiazepine by the handful in front of the Officer, and I am a mess and my memory couldn't well I didn't remember saying or doing what I was told I did.
I can't stop shaking
And then I called my friend Sam and said "Sam I am a drunk" -- his response was "we know" and I decided I finally needed help ~~ BUT and this is a big BUT I couldn't get a alcohol coach to "help me get clean"
And so began my QUEST of Personal Responsibility and there would follow many more QUESTS to at times on a basic and kind of "Primitive Level" just save my what was a very ordinary life,
At that time I didn't think I could do this on my own as never to stay sober longer than a month "I just couldn't do it" as the check would come in and I would be off to the beer / wine store to get loaded again as I tried
I thought about AA but it seemed like I would need to confess and I wasn't able so I told myself what was a lie that actually benefited me "I don't drink"
And today its 8 years of telling myself daily "I don't drink" and praying to God for the strength to stay sober
The hardest place I found to stay sober was the Men's Homeless Shelter it was the longest 59 days of my sobriety as the pain was incredibly intense all day, and all night but we did it, thanks to God and The Mission, and my Family
Thank You All
When I was moved to the next phase I was almost relieved I was out of there even though I had no idea as to what the next phase would bring me
We are all so very, Blessed as we have so much compared to those who have so little and this pandemic has caused so much pain globally it is up to us to try and bring a little joy to those around us
Thank you for all of your support over the last 8 years of a roller coaster ride
I am so very GRATEFUL for everything