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i was able to get a " night of thought " via the City Of Edmonton Police Service as when they were here to serve like shit I was blown away once again as they were very kind as I was tranported to the " Thought Box " that I would occupy for a night

The event was incredible as I finally figured out that saying stuff to anyone is no longer going to be tolerated in my life ever again as that stuff is (I want to kill myself) now we really should not be putting known MENTAL PATIENTS in Cages as it has been studied that this is extremly harmful for the HUMAN BEING that has a illness we can not treat HUMAN BEINGS as THINGS as I did not actually break a law to be sick with incurable illness like some actual HUMAN BEINGS think I am a PSYCHO (I wear a damn LARGE GREEN HAT so that would basically say that anyone that dresses up in order to work on a deal I was able to make with GOD HIS SON my SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST as he did not ever say lets go get some MENTAL PATIENTS and put them in CAGES so they actually get worse as that is a form of torture but remember you have now labeled me as a PSYCHO in a damn Large Green Hat that somehow with magic or something makes me smile

Weird stuff huh?

I am no longer going to identify as a MENTAL PATIENT but as a HUMAN BEING how do you feel now when I move into the house next door

How are you going to deal with that every day and not build up your hate so big that someone might get hurt .... but

I had a doctor once for 15 minutes as he had only one question and that was

" Dr C. How do you know you have a mental illness? " As it was a altering moment in my life but I was still trapped in the mass experiment that society and others were running which as a direct result of the medicine I was no longer capabale of PISSING INTO THE BOWL no problem say the Commandant of The Camp

As she has a dog pee pad and I just became her new puppy as the training program was underway and the issue was getting worse and I wasn't taken to a doctor even though I was ina Hospital giving blood 2-3 x a week but why ??? And no one would even tell me

Then after I was fucked enough (as this was fucken horrible as I was unable to get it the piss into the bowl )

So off to the dentist for a short stay as the Dentist walks down the hall as the clicking of her heels was fasinating I think and then the order comes there are children in the clinic so no screaming and then she starts by having me open my mouth but hey what the fuck you are taking my teeth from my mouth with ZERO FREEZINGS and FUCK IT HURT even with the thing that I was no longer going to have a wieght issue as were now going to ALLOW you MENTAL PATIENT the ability to now have but one meal a day as they are harder to do as she makes me a blended bowl (like a dog bowl) blender of things she found on the counter of in her fridge and she would then come to the table and pour this mixture very slow and fuck that was it my food for the rest of my life and I snapped and pretty much made it to my room (her dilapidated beauty salon that she was getting a $1000 a month for her ALLOWING me a place I must show I am grateful all the time) it was a screwed up place as I was basically trapped like a caged beast in my cell for as long as she was going to do this as like every second or third day she would say were going to make your room a lot smaller as then I would worry again --this type of thing was daily to the point I was like beaten my spirit finally could do no more as this was about to be the end as the event seemed pointless as there would be yet another meal of her special GRUEL as this was going to be my life and it was a hopeless place to be

and i was HOME again as this was worse than any place, I had been in over the whole 3 months I was shuffled from place to place always on guard for the next guy or whatever we actually were anymore

As a young kid at AHE the last time asked me -- " What Are You?" I don't know any more as I was destroyed mentally as she won as I was being rescued by an ambulance crew it was damn incredible

I want to now go out and Make Happy People -- this was all that I wanted why can we not be happy as we pretty much have all the stuff

And now I has no shoes I have to wear as the laces were yanked out of the shoes and they are never going to fit into the holes in the shoes I found a pair of boots a great friend got me

I finally am going to invest in a brand-new pair as they are tools for The Mad Hatter Experience

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