April 5, 2022:~ The Game Of My Life, And This Seemed So Fucken Real? Is It? Or Are We All DEAD?

This Piece Is Called = Paper Head Detective. And when it appeared today as I have had the weirdest day in my LIFE IN EDMONTON -- and I bought it As a Good Man a Constable when I met him became a Detective and His Name IS Detective Bob Boydia ( spelling maybe off ) This man along with 13 or 17 Government Agency's were pulled together by Detective Bob as the WAR between me and the WCB / Government was full blown and I had become a ISSUE ( just like now ) and I was Laughed at in the Doctors Cubical today and I freaked out as all I want is for the DAMN PAIN that I have now been in for a very long period and I have no idea when it began as it began around the Time Of The Operation in a Catholic Hospital in The West End of My City of Edmonton along with a few other issues.

I don't know if I died along the way ( dude in the NFT has a Great Suit not like the one I screwed up on my dad for the damn burial ) why the fuck was I put in charge of this shit as I have never ever been able to answer it, nor the Wrong Casket Box ( 1975 )) as I was driven by someone to a Funeral Home downtown and I had to walk around a room with boxes of all types ... hey this shit is new .. and I found this great Wood ( solid ) and it was nice, and the paperwork was done, around this day or the next we received a call from either the Bank ( where the life insurance policy was held ) or the Funeral Home and we / mom or and me had to down grade as you see

My Incredible dad, knew that he was gonna pass soon after the first Heart Attack that he had and was taken to the Same Catholic Hospital in the West End . When I was able to see him in the Hospital he looked scared -- VERY SCARED -- and he never looked this was EVER BEFORE

But when that phone call arrived after I had already picked the Casket Box out that MY DAD DESERVED as this Man was CLASS in Everything. And guess what my dad had cashed out his LIFE INSURANCE Policy when he took the last trip he would ever take an he also sold EVERYTHING less the Caddy Convertible that was to be mine when I reached 18 and the Family Home at 44 Gresham Blvd --He sold his 7 horses, The Carrige he built from the ground up that a few mayors of the town of St Albert were driven around at events like the Rodeo Parade, the Race Car # 35 Westwind Oval ( and the place of the first Heart Attack, that I knew instantaneously was going to fuck up the life I was given ) he sold off the Family Business, Edgar Faciote Plastering Supplies Ltd

And he traveled around the world a few times and I was left with a fucken Casket Box that was the only one we could scrap money up for, I was upset along with a state of spacey, and disassociated and grief

And this was going to get worse as at the service and burial I was told by people there that I screwed up, and this went on after the burial and the thing, at the Family Home that my already sick with MS Mother was somehow charged with putting on and I was told over and over just how bad I did - fuck it still HURTS -- and this was February 1975 ( he passed on the 19th ) and I have no idea as to the day of burial ( as the 19th was my little sisters birthday ) and the home was a fucken nightmare to be mentally and I even at 14 I knew very LITTLE ABOUT -- or drinking ( oh ya I had a few beer with dad on the job site when I was lucky enough to spend a summer at work 5 days a week, and he would never give me a pay check as he said once I take that first pay check I have to forfeit all my dreams as then you need the product ( money ) that you will become a slave to ) ... smart man MY DADDY WAS

The next day began a drinking issue that would once again last till February 15, 2013 when at 930am I had three very loud knocks on my apartment door and it was well Two Members of The City Police Service and I was a mess a real mess, as shit was no longer in my hands as the Police Officers brought with them Compassion, Kindness, Understanding and a damn lot of a Linguistic Nightmares that I was forced to endure and I was still very DRUNK from the night before on Valentines Day when I somehow while taking MENTAL MEDS ( which I had lied to myself that it was safe to do PHARMA & BOOZE ) as this was Red Wino Wine and I attempted to space it out a few hours between

These Officers one was at the Best Book Shelf in the Living Area and the one with that Linguistic Weapon started in on me and went on and on -- and I have no idea as to how long the session went on for and I was POPPING BENZODIEAZIPINES by the grab as I was no longer caring as I only wanted to stop this state I was in as I was in HELL

This is all I was able to get for the take away from that, visit was = " You threatened to punch your Doctor / Shrink in the Head Over the phone to his Receptionist " and shit

I could not find it anywhere in the Memory of my still somewhat Drunk Mind & Brain and I generally never forgot shit

I could not REMEMBER

So I wondered what else was I being not allowed to REMEMBER was fucking me up and I called a Alberta Mental Health & Addictions Counselor as I figured that this one I was going to need massive help as I was

A Drunk when the Officers Walked in on My Life & World but now

I am a Alcoholic a Alcoholic that was told it was not easy and I had heard that this was HARD TO GET SOBER

I just was not aware of systems at all as I had NEVER NOT DRANK


OK SINCE MY DAD PASSED AWAY But this was a Forever Trip as I was now at a ABYSS and this was damn scary as I was in Suite 1301e ( on the 13th floor and I had looked off this incredible balcony I was ALLOWED to have and I grew food on )

HELL was a very, long way down

Then I Dug In and Looked back

Date was February 15, 2013 and how had I done on the other shit i managed to end

Ok Weed stopped march 18, 2006 ( the day after my sorta marriage ended ) 6 years 10 months and 28 days )

Smokes Stopped December 11, 2007 ( ya right before Christmas) = 5 years 2 months and 4 days

OPIATES ( after 25 years ) Stopped November 9, 2010 -- 2 years 3 months and 6 days

Fuck now I have to give up my LAST Recreational Product

I said fuck it that was February 15, 2013 and today = April 5, 2022 = 9 years, 1 months and 21 days

WTF ???? I have been sober for over 9 years and I was homeless for 2 months and placed on a 37 months experimental test where stress levels would destroy some, along with a couple of years of The Plague where a lot of HUMANS Became DRUNKS ok ( be kind ) they became NON ADMITTING ALCOHOLICS or nah I will be good maybe

But hey I still have City WATER and a 30 Year Plus Buildings Pipes to give it that great extra taste \

Hey Amazon today brought me a Great Brita water bottle ( with a filter ) and YOU PAID FOR IT

So there goes all those exciting damn Chemicals ... what kind of tails will I now be able or allowed to tell at --

The Butterfly's Dance & Grasshoppers Feast parties

Because I have found that when you are not consuming stuff to talk easier people don't want to hang out with you and the FACT that can no longer pop in on CHECK DAY and KNOW -- That I would have a chemical a drink ( fuck something ) you know the last person that stopped by with a BOTTLE of My Brand of Wine ( Cupcake ) realized I was actually having a very hard time with a bottle in the HOUSE this was a while before the Plague Hit Us

And no one else has stopped by for a SHOT of WATER al la TAP

Friend said this a few days ago --- " I HAVE NO FRIENDS AS I HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS " and the social stigma in general maybe slowly passing but this SHIT / MENTAL ILLNESS is so fucken hard to deal with when YOU ARE VANILLA -- You just can't get it

And The Friend who said it still has a chance with FRIENDS as she Smokes WEEDS, Cigs and DRINKS ( Not H20 )

I has none of that shit, BOOKS I HAS Lots a books --- a GREAT LADY a Masters in Psychology lady Zara convinced me to hook up NETFLIX -- I did as I wanted to please her and I think I have in a Month watched maybe and this a stretch seen 4-5 films ( maybe ) and She was REMOVED from my TREATMENT PROGRAM by Her Supervisor who I was finally GRANTED a talk with ANDREA and she is a DAMN BULLY ( and this is NOT AS UNCOMMON in The Mental Health Industrial Complex ( major bucks and it is really not about nor ever was about Client Care that is False Opt ix ( by the Mental Health Industrial Complex) as BULLYING IS ACTUALLY ENCOURAGED as then they laugh as this is REALLY FUCKEN FUNNY SHIT HURTING THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED ( Olympics Soon we hear)

Sport is call DESTROY A HUMAN it is timed game

This shit is pretty much the truth -- OK maybe not The Olympics as the Arena was to costly

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