I AM so scared

I AM so much like a child-- and I just want this all to stop as I can't "FIX" this


And I feel so "ALONE" like I was when my dad passed away in 1975 (when I was 14) I Need to stop this as

I AM no longer sleeping right

I am up in the wee hours of the night

Maybe I am getting 3-4 hours a day of sleep and that is a AUDACIOUS big deal if I am even being "allowed" that


And this ALL of THIS is a massive GIFT -- as I should of died from Self Medication between October 15, 2018 (discovery of Crater of the Coccyx) - Till March 16, 2020 (when the Home Care treatment) was stopped, likely before the wound was quiet healed

As tomorrow is Video Doctor at The Mad Hatters - and I am really not looking for this at all as who is going to see my Nakedness on the Other side of the Camera


Bright side is that I am busy working my "literal" ASS off for my Personal Physician coming for tea (and she better bring TEA) kidding Dr G

Now to sort the daily meds out

maybe later


Lucien aka "the LIGHT"

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