Mad Hatter Experience & The Buzz!
Today is a weird day as I never in my wildest dreams imagine that I would even be top side of dirt ---- really
I am off ALL OPIATES from Suboxone 36mg and Tramadol 24r0mg I went cold turkey 35 days ago today in Tribute of my Super Hero and Daddy Edgar "Fast Eddie" Faciote who drove Stock Car # 35 at Westwind Oval back in the early 1970's
Dad had his first Heart Attack in the Pit Area (inside the oval) and I watched in absolute fucken HORROR as they drove my dad in the Ambulance out of Pit Row and Off The Ground of Westwind Oval and the Sirens Started to be heard in the distance as they took my dad away (I was 10-11 years old) and I mean it I had no idea as where they were taking him as we lived in St Albert and it the Ambulance was not going to St Albert --- it was off to The Big City of Edmonton --- I was now alone at the track as Dad was my ride so I decided to destroy anything and everything that I was able to and this shit went for a fuckn long time I was kicking trash barrels over, punching as hard as I could the columns holding the Grandstand up hoping to break the fuck out of my wrist or something
I am about to stop for a moment as I had no idea that this was about to occur and I am not as comfy as I would like to be in
This moment
Sorry
BRB
Self - MANAGED & DIRECTED Trauma Therapy is at time BRUTALLY COMPLEX as if you wanna fuck around in your brain for a while I think that there may just be yet another way --like smacking you forward head into a solid brick wall ( I has beans attempting to get help from MY --- Alberta Government Mental Health & Addictions since June 22, 2021 ) only to have my open up and then to have my emotions, feeling anxieties fear lack of trust be exploited not by one Government Worker BUT -- Two
This post has taken a toil on my brain / mind / subsciouseness, my supercousciousness and even the Cosic Consciousness where I go so times
This was never supposed to bring my best friend, super hero and my DADDY into it as it went this way and maybe the way it is was the way it was supposed to be as I at timesam blown away as to the ravel my mijnd does --- try doing a shrink session with this madness from The Mad Hatter Experience ( keeping that there is NO MAN nor DOCTOR even that hasany idea as to all the chemical experiments that performed on my mind / brsain and body in 409 lomng hellish yearsv
Forgive me but sometimes this occurs ( tonight now that I am year older I figured I should allow the energy in me to write this damn thijng as I have worked very, very hard on this for a seriously long time, funding it all out of living under the proverty line
My Dad taught me about "R.M" = Resourcse Management and I was never given much to do a little more that I have been doing
God also taught me about RM -Resource Management in
Philippians 4
verse 10 - 14
Paul's Thanks for Their Gifts
How I praise the Lord that you are very concerned about nme again
I know you have always been concerned for me, but you didn't have the chance to help me
Not that I was ever in need for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have
I have learned how to be content with whatever I have
I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything, as I have learned the secret of living in every situatation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little.
For I can do anything through Christ who gives me strenght
Even so, you have done well to share with me in my present difficulty
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All of the very days of my life and world were it seems in hundsight all a part of a ginat matrix grid jigsaw puzzle
You all have collectively
Saved The LIGHT II
Imagine that this is my main medicine now? As it is as My Physctrist and Organic Chemist bot say that there is no real medications (pill = Big Pharmaceutical ) for PTSD