March 31, 2022:~ I Crashed A Honda 50cc Mini Bike One Day Ago With A Passenger On Board - It Was BAD

This whole damn thing is / was all my Fault as this was long before I knew or dad knew we should ( and passengers should ) have on Helmet's and how would I know as there were no other KIDS / CHILDREN at all driving around St Albert ( or even Gresham Blvd / Gilmore Crescent which was a very tiny area )

My Passenger was Jerry Bourassa who had a couple brothers Jim and John, and a cute little sister named Jenny ( weird how some families use the same letters for a first name of their kids )

On my block there would be another that moved into 40 Gresham Blvd, just a couple houses over from ours this was after after Mary -Anne Nelson and her sister along with their parents moved away ... I did not see a lot of them as I one day was allowed to ride Thunder a Colt I had broken thinking the same year ( and I now wonder like what the hell happened ) as when we were riding from 137 AVE on The St Albert Trail ( now Mark Messier trail I think ) my Horse bucked and I was tossed off into a ditch by the gas station and cemetery and I was shit scared and I was no longer interested in this sport at all ... Dad convinced Mary -Anne to ride Thunder back with him and I think I did never ride again ( EVER )

But they moved out I think dad had left before for the City of Edmonton ... around 137Ave in a House from someone dad knew a Merle Lawrence ( dad redid the stucco on the house and Garage ) for a deal on the rent ( Merle would play a factor a while later in dad's last vacation plan ( or play )

The Bruha's moved into 40 Gresham and this is where the naming with same letters comes to play from oldest = Gerard, then (my Beer guy after dad passed away ) Greg next was Glenn and the Gerome -- and a little change for the last two all boys Barry then Blaine

But back to the last know mini bike crash I remember, we were flying down Gilmore Crescent towards Gresham Blvd and out of the blue a car was right there ( it too was Blue ) and I crashed into the ass end and flew over the trunk, then almost like in slow motion I picked the bike up and without looking for Jerry ( as he was not there ) I walked the mini bike ( that my Mom would not ever let dad off the hook for getting it for me ) I remember once Dad got me a Garter Snake and it it escaped from its cage ( aquarium ) not sure which , and when Mom went hunting she found the Bike Behind the Bar ... Up until that place in my life I can't remember her being that pissed with Dad over it

I see me walking home pushing the bike that didn't seem to have a scratch on it and dad is on the end of the drive and the car that I hit is there and I am sent straight to my bedroom

And I would never hear anything about this again

But where the hell is Jerry and how the hell do I pretty much T Bone a damn car with a mini bike and not have a damn cut on my body or a broken anything ( as this spot would get me later again I think when me and Glenn were hanging off Greg's White Toyota Corolla 4 door with our skateboards and I hit a rock ( I was in the inside (so left side ) and destroyed my wrist ... ( this was after dad passed away ) and mom would not come to the hospital even and sign some damn paper work so THEY ( doctors / nurses ) could get me a painkiller then getting an operation was a screwed up thing too and then I lost a shoe and Mom didn't give a shit as I was made to walk home -- I am not sure if she had the psychopath boyfriend at this point ( and he was crazy as I was beat every time he saw me ( Armand Hugli ) and I came home from a shift at work, then school ( this was year 2 for me of grade nine as when Dad passed I wish I did too ) as there was ZERO Grief Counselling --or Anything for KIDS as we were just supposed to SUCK IT UP -- I guess I tried with the help of a lot of Booze pretty much after he passed

The next worse day of my life was that day I came home from work and school and I can still see it all these years later as I snicked into MY HOUSE from the Garage and I was just in the Kitchen and it looked right into my sisters room, and I could tell it was empty and as I got there it truly was -- and I still don't actually know what occurred in MY HOME that caused (turned out to be The Government of Alberta Social Services) fuck I was so confused I knew shit about anything anymore

Like why one evening without any charges I ended up in YDC ( Youth Detention Center ) as I know it was not some shit I did as one day I asked a guard if I could borrow his bike ( 10 speed ) and go to St Albert to get my Tape Recorder / Player a Transonic ( silver ) from Woodward's Dept Store in Westmount and a bunch of Cassettes and I was allowed then my Uncle Oscar came on day and just got me out and it was like now I was living with his rather MASSIVE Multi Generational Families ( in a house smaller than OUR Garage at home ) it was screwed as he hounded me forever about WEEDS and then when my Dear Mom was finally able to GO HOME to THE GOD she Truly Believed in Oscar drove me to the Funeral Director and when we got there I went to get the portable cd player so I could play a song for MY MOM and he refused to ALLOW ME saying shit like " I won't get you home " and I had absolutely no idea at all where I was so I let it go ( Damn Asshole )

Song was = Tom Petty - Wildflowers

As our entire yard was always covered in Flowers always she would even plant them where no one but GOD would see them

When I was KIDNAPPED in 2013 as a Direct Result of being short of $ 500 for rent -- as it is kind of hard when I lost my entire world in a few months as it was February 15, 2013 when I was drunk still and half awake half dead and KNOCK , KNOCK, KNOCK City Police like what the hell now --- POUND POUND and my head is pounding as I attempt to figure out left leg right leg on my track pants

So when I make another one of them mistakes I open the damn door before they pound and injure my head more

Mistake the door is open and the Two Police Officers look in and around quickly then one goes for my best shit bookcase in the Living Room and the other comes straight at me and uses a Linguistic Weapon that I was not ready for at all, what still being half if not totally drunk from the night before off of 4 liters of Red Wino Wine and the Officer gave no mind as he was tripping and I started to shake as I could not understand anything anymore then I am popping Benzodieazipines ( BENZO's ) like they are candy

And after a long session of whatever occurred in my place my buddy allowed me to live in the Officer said

" You Threatened to Punch Your Psychiatrist in the Head Over the Phone to His Receptionist "

And I could NOT find that Memory and I looked as it would have been way the hell easier than what was Coming

I had to stop drinking ( WTF ) but HOW as I stopped weeds the day after my marriage ended to a person and her kid that used me for 7 long years on March 18, 2006 this was February 15, 2013 -- I beat smoking cigarettes and Opiates and the damn drinking was all I had left

Till NOW --- what the fuck was I supposed to do to turn the shit of the damn world off

My Dietitian Cathy would come up with a idea that was the Stupidest thing I ever heard when she first said it .... think about 10,000 steps daily -- and it was about to start and I am trying to stop drinking ..

" I want you to Join The GREEN Team , mine and Kevin's ( SW ) to walk around Alberta on a Virtual Map walking about 10,000 Steps a day

But I Joined and it would cost me 37 months of my life and every tooth in my MOUTH to be YANKED with ZERO FREEZING

Okay you needs to see me back then or you have recently as I weight 220 # ( now I am down to 214 pounds it was 172 pounds on June 26, 2021 just 4 days after my church memory appeared ( yah that is a FAT GAIN of 42 LARGE POUNDS ) I had a ZOOM Meeting yesterday with Jenny my last Dietitian who said I was 171 # when I began with her last time ( a while back and this time I only get 6 sessions ) as a lots of people it seems HAVE COVID POUNDS to GIVE BACK

Where did Jerry, and Mary-Anne get too

As for that 37 months that I missed

Uncle Oscar passed away as did one of his Son's who never SMOKED WEEDS but still found away to die

The Two baby Bruha's Passed ( and these to kids just makes me sad ) as Their Mom & Dad were Christian people and so were all there kids -- the Mr also passed

So much death so much

I have so much pain hanging out at the OLD PERSON Place pretty much every weekend for the time I found my mom there s the Relatives wouldn't / could't couldn't tell her own kids where they were holding my mom ( not that I was in any place to help ) I remember one dinner I had mom over in DATS and my place was up a single flight of stairs and both me and the DATS driver were wiped out after

She enjoyed her dinner she said but this was one of the last things I did for my own mom and what the fuck --

KIDS & People in General

Do NOT EVER do DRUGS \, BOOZE / Ciggeerttes / and do everything you can to avoid OPIATES and PILLS ( as this is the shit that ages you in weird ways )

And NEVER MIX OPIATES with any type / kind of MENTAL MEDS you will be thinking of SUICIDE fast and the Doctors know this they do but the MONEY MATTERS in MOST PEOPLES LIVES including DOCTORS

LEARN ALWAYS .... Get a LIBRARY CARD AND LEARN HOW IT WORKS TRY A UNIVERSITY LIBRARY with YOUR CITY LIBRARY CARDS it is amazing the worlds that we can enter are incredible

and if YOU Get to the University at Grant Mckeown in Edmonton Ask for either Pam, Anna or Iris and say this $ 22 is for the Mad Hatter Experience ( lucien ) it was easier before COVID to just get their ( now it is silly hard, worthwhile as the students and staff still enjoy me when I go but this is now a hard task ) -- Hell MY LIFE IS HARDER NOW as I found out a while back I got a CURVED SPINE ( no ones shit and the X Rays were there ) Doctors love money more than CLOWNS Who Knew

Tonight I am so sad, just sad I was a ORPHAN at 17 sister was 15 ( but had some stability in a Group Home that was pretty decent )

And Frank was a Good Man and I know why he and my sister fell out after the hubby of sisters three girls ran away with the Furniture that they bought with MY Moms inheritance and didn't pay a dime for his own three girls ( the dude is a scum ) and I should have laid a beating on him again at Moms Funeral ( Uncle Oscar again saved this dudes ass and maybe life ) as I saw what he was doing to his family

Not Good screws to many people up

And do me a favor

Always SMILE

I want to see my MOM & DAD soon Miss Them Very Much and MY Sister and Her Three Girls that I m so very, very proud of ( all 4 include my crazy sister who couldn't borrow me $ 60 a few weeks ago

And who would do Christmas with me for a very long time as YOU know I should have done some research and reading about the SAP ( South African Police ) of which she was, and then she used her own kid saying that they go after BLONDES and yet I don't remember her being that Blonde that much ( but everyone used me to make money) from BIG PHARMA,the doctors, see me weekly or more , the druggists, the dealers, the alcohol makers and the Government and MENTAL ILLNESS IS A MASSIVE INDUSTRY -- MASSIVE and Scheduled to GROW BIGGER and BIGGER YEAR by YEAR .. as everything around us FALLS A PART

Or The Girlfriend / Boyfriend breaks up with a kid ( teenager 18 ) and he / she wants to not feel like they do, as they were told it is not there issue but get a script and you won't feel that way

Stick with the WEEDS

Don't do the PILLS

I wish that you all had it easier ( really I do ) to much hard no ---

COVID hurt HUMANITY deeper than MOST KNOW or even want to UNDERSTAND

I am SAD for Mankind a lot these days

I pray we get better but I don't see it

HEDGE FUND -- BLACKROCK -- CEO Larry Fink 10,000 BILLION ( AUM ) = Assets Under Management in a letter to shareholders a few days ago said were going to have to place CLIMATE CONTROL on the back burner for the while as the OIL SECTOR will Crash if we do and it will take the TOTAL ECONOMY OUT with IT and Mr Larry Fink is one of the smartest people with the smartest teams -- it makes sense as now ELON is Building His OWN City ( some where in Africa ) and Joe Biden is set to release 1 million barrels of Oil a Day from The Federal Reserves for up to 180 days as they Lend ( what do they get in return ) another $ 500 Million

You Kids are footing these bills

I am SADDENED for the MANKIND'S silliness

You know on Earth we have everything and I MEAN EVERYTHING TO MAKE EARTH AS IT IS FOR EVERYONE NOT JUST HEAVEN FOR A FEW

And yet we pretty much all want MORE and MORE

A Finite System Is NOT Capable of M&M ( More & More ) and shit I was able to get uch Schooling Education but I was TOLD BY MY DAD -- it doesn't matter where you live I don't care if it is shoe box ( ALWAYS HAVE A LIBRARY --ALWAYS )

I am first Gen Italian, Algerian, Ukrainian Canadian

I don't own a TV up until a few weeks ago when the BEST THERAPIST I HAVE EVER TALKED TO -- TOLD ME I SHOULD GET NETFLIX JUST TO DECOMPRESS SOMETIMES as I worry about the people of THIS HOME MADE FOR US

I have been working on this all morning and it is now 5 AM ...damn I don't understand me either at times

As what do I Personally Want = A Mistress for the Mad Hatter Experience = and For PEOPLE TO JUST Smile and I know how hard it is sometimes ( A LOT )

Think of what we could do if we stopped the wars. and the stupidy and hurting one another

No war imagine where all the money that the WEST Is needing to send could do ( but you have to understand mONEY first and in the first 12 years of SCHOOLING TRAINING to BE A WAGE SLAVE not a Class on MONEY that I saw last time I looked and asked

Think Elon Musk & Jeff Bezos Together have like 600 BILLION wow a fraction could end poverty globally ( a fraction )

I am SAD as were going to basically destroy the planet so the few who have everything can stay alive and the rest ( U & ME ) die

Elons City is Going to HOLD 1 MILLION ( You Got An Invite ) NO -- Sorry -- Must be your NET WORTH is NOT HIGH ENOUGH

Morning All

or is it GOOD NIGHT