I am very, very tired right now as I am getting my ass kicked by the pain right now, it has increased since the bladder / kidney infection and the start of the antibiotics (I have lost the remaining fragments of my brain / mind) somewhere in the "chip / pop aisle" and it hasn't all been there for some times anyways
Treatment teams today are "plastics, and pharmacology"
And now I am actually scared of My Mental Health Organization (why?) I have no idea: could be the illness itself.
I just want things back to the way they were before I got the first "hole in my body"
HAPPY AT LAST -- Josh Joplin Group
Finally I figured a short circuit to "the pain / depression" cycle that for now has had me in her grips for 347 days ( 11 months, 12 days ) of pain and sometimes actual horror has destroyed / rebuilt / destroyed / made me choose / (life and / or death) / rebuilt / destroyed and ultimately rebuilt a man whom never actually had a chance to grow up as a normal way and had to teach himself from some of the greats of all time thanks to the Growing and Great Library's of Edmonton that were always made available unto him, (me) even when I had zero money in my wallet (donate a few dollars for the up build of the system we keep adding to when YOU ALL can --for YOU)
for almost a year from the discovery of hole one , on October 15, 2018 to the surgery on April 11, 2019 to the medications (experiments) to the mental health teams changing, to a growing in understanding of
1) The Main Mental Illnesses
a) Bedsores / Ulcer
b) Sinus Tract Wounds
These are Multi Billion Dollar Industry's
I have been given so much love, care, kindnesses, companion and even money or gifts in kind
Dreams I 'll Never See - Molly Hatchet
can you imagine God /Your, Dr telling you "You get / got Mental Cancer, in the form of Schizophrenia there will be NO cure at least in your life time and the chances you will outright just Kill Yourself at now at 32% (and the medications have sides (effects) that are worse at times than the illness itslef)
won't you be happy that evening as you stare hopelessly out your window into a sunset that all of a sudden seems to have changed
and all of that incredible "chase // hunt // grab // quest" into the world // life of getting the most ''T.O.Y.S." finally comes to a grinding end and you move into a Spiritual World as I somehow by luck seem to have entered (rather by accident) as the Great Leaders throughout history never needed much STUFF to be fulfilled it is only in the last 100 plus // odd years has this species known as mankind (okay) man (wants more than YOU) has begun
My new Psychiatrist asked me
You know what I want? --- For YOU all to smile as that is my greatest rewards (and I walk a extra mile just to make one extra person smile)
Question is from A Health Link Nurse "When are you going to put yourself first?"
My quick and I was quick was a absolute "NEVER" as this is the reason we fall victim to the seven deadly sins a we actually fool ourselves into thinking were more important than the next guy:
They BTW (the collective nurses) made a conscious choice to call The City of Edmonton Police on me, as I am ill (holes in my body --now 2 of them, and now the bladder / kidney infection and I am very depressed) as I had words with a incredible care provider in my psychologist yesterday, a stressed as the Doctor pretty much refused to re-book a session, she knows best (and it is just me) as I can't grow up
I needed a Welfare Check,
I am so sorry EVERYONE
Its this damn Mental Cancer as it destroys everything
Pink Floyd just came on with -- Coming Back To Life
Maybe I am, as
I see Plastics today at the University for HOLY HOLE War crater one and how it is getting along so if you would / could say a little prayer / "if you don't pray [ invent ] he understands your hearts"
Lets Cure Mental Cancer today as all it takes is
Hugging A Fish (and / or) Fish Sandwich as Jenny says we should have Fish 2-3x a week, But Beware the Local Fish Union as The Jack Fish are Biting