Ms Payne, Devil Girl, Chores, The Feeding & Gratitude, Along With Therapy

The ladies have been kind to me over the last few hours as even with a pain level between 8-10 I have been "allowed" to work on my HOME (maybe one day the Girls / Ladies will stop bye for a tea or we can boot up the coffee press & grinder, taht I was "allowed" to invest in a few weeks ago)

I was up all night (the pain) so I decided I would use a S.O.P. (System Override Program) and I cleaned the wee hours away as well as talking to a few support staff and a voice mail machine (Yah I know its weird talknng to a damn machine but a damn schizophrenic will talk to pretty much anyone and anything to distract himself (me) from my inner demons) (they scare me as for some reason they come out when it gets dark and when your up all night it well t gets dark)

The two tables are finally (and I likely still need 200+ hours of sorting / moving / cleaning to find there solid surfaces)

laundry is being done by "SLAVE / COINAMATIC" she charges me for her service like $6.25 plus supplies (note to self) "buy some dryer sheets, bounce or downy 120s so I don't run out"

What you think the Pharaoh didn't have to pay his "SLAVES" in the days of the construction of the great pyramids (food, shelter clothes and all the rest cost my forefathers money to) Free Slaves (who ever heard of such a thing?)

EXTRA NOTE TO SELF -- In the Upcoming Great Construction of The Temple Of Karen, the Laundry rooms are on every floor as I killed myself just now walking up 4 flights of stair with washing

My "feeding" is about to take place and dinner tonight is

4 pork chops (in sauce) $3.00

Mac n' Cheese, {milk and K.D. provided by the food bank of The City of Edmonton} Thank YOU all, YOUR all-stars

Mix Veggies food bank also :-) TY all

4 slices of white bread (food bank) TY again

becel marge (jenny says this one is best) Diet Team (thank you kid)

I didn't eat this way until my Mental Health Team arrived on March 6 and went deep into my life for control and figuring out the ''H.I.D.E." (Human Intelligence Design Engineering) to a level that has never been attempted before (all I needed was a hand up) THANK YOU and my TRUST is slowly reappearing in my life / world

Then we continue my therapy as I never had this before as all the S.O.R. (Structure Of Reality) / Addictions & Mental Health Program (shrinks) and {the past does not equal my future} ever offered me was oodles and oodles of medications on top of medications

And now as I "fade into the sun" I have been given a Mental Health Team that actually cares about me and wants me on less medications (from over medicated to properly medicated) and it took Dr Paul just 167 days ago, psychology followed at 66 days ago I have never had a psychologist before and we have had just 7 sessions since I was "allowed" into this area of help, and she makes me think, not just when i am in our sessions but i think about the lessons constantly and then there is my mental health nurse who is the one that gets to deal with a weekends worth of voice mails tomorrow (again) she entered the picture on June 20 just 60 days ago (and she is so kind and tolerant as I was a basket case over the last few weeks

And for you all tolerating me as I had my on-line melt down I thank you too.

Therapy seems I can be lead to water -- and in my case I needed to have my head "inserted here" as I was a damn mess as from all that I read constant // chronic pain // sever can actually change the physical shape of a human brain (I am not who I was when I was first diagnosed with the damn holy hole from HELL

In fact I can't anymore remember what it is even like to NOT have pain as DR B said I need to allow the pain to teach me that is where Ms Payne, The Devil Girl and Mister Honesty came in as I needed a visual representation of something / someone to be IT (the pain)

Therapy has and is beginning to take shape as my ability to walk 20,000 steps (6+ miles) a day diminished as I had three shifts (you might not of noticed) but I used to walk

730am-930am The go to work show

10-1230pm lunch time

3-5 pm (the drive home show)

Now I maybe get as a direct physical reality of the pain a fraction of the above in fact today I didn't do sh*t as I hurt and i needed down time and had personal stuff (yah I have a ife other than The Mad Hatter

But as we all know Therapy costs money and I live below the poverty line

Dr Sal says Art Therapy

I like to color as there are some cool color books

It cost me money from the food budget however (and no I didn't go to the buck store) as I think I am worth more and I wanted as I needed something NICE

I can hear YOU saying "why does he get NICE?" my answer is I have no cellphone or cable bill, no addiction bills -- I live simply so why can't I have NICE in a few things as this whole thing was under $250 (a hour with a specialist of which I have three (3) is between $200-250)

the coloring sh*t I bought is going to keep me busy for a very long time

But I found something else that is and has therapeutic value (in fact I discovered through the one a multiple array of TOOLS to assist in my "severe emotional dysregulation as a result of a refractory sacral wound" Dr Sal (the letter for the ART therapy is in my hands now---

However I believe and have the data to show that a schizophrenic can be assisted with numbers (we have a thing with numbers and patterns)

However I believe and have the data to show that a schizophrenic can be assisted with numbers (we have a thing with numbers and patterns) my TEAM also have internet access to my state of mind, my medication logs, and with a diet program I am a member of my food intake and exercise, I also have access to the gym and the only thing stopping me right now is gear (200$) and it to would / will be a great pattern interrupter to reduce the pain if only for minutes // a hour at a time

Data flow and I am IN DEBT to you for the inspirational support on the blogs as it has given me purpose in many instances

Thanks and I seem to be doing something right as at day 33 of the we (and this is for you as well as me) have had

Users 147

Sessions 474

Page Views 2,571

(78 pages that i wrote a day) I am so HAPPY as I feel I am doing something right and the costs were affordable as a valid therapy as the blog hosting, domains x 2 and email address and business cards (500 @$52) were under $600 for everything

And this is doable for a civilization as wealthy as ours as I have hope, purpose, value

As for the actually Mad Hatter Experience here is a breakdown somewhat

hat $60 needs a replacement ever 6 months

Staff $50 needs 3-4 a year

Coats $200-500 (summer / winter)

And Candy $25 x12

Here is something I know you never knew about YOUR Mad Hatter as that is I play keyboards

And music is therapy is it not now it comes in two modalities

1) passive (listening)

2) demonic (playing) and I am somewhat capable and with a few more add on's this could have me and a few people playing for your amusement and fantasies as Key' Lo & The Mind Parasites LLP

I have some stuff as does a buddy have some music already recorded (a few pieces of my equipment disappeared over time and a few need upgrade) I played around with my Yamaha SY77 today and I felt good, and it sounded good -- and It is only with you going to get way F'n better till I play Commonwealth Stadium with my TEAM of Mind Parasites

I need a new laptop and about $1,000 I found a incredible laptop at the Dell place at $2700 they will hopefully finance it or i could find just 48 benefactors with $75

And once again reality is doable

And never say ever say can't or impossible as peeps we put a few people on the moon before some of you were even born

Dare to dream and the dream massive dreams as this is reality and we write our own L.S.D. ex.

Holy sh*t its 938pm and I forgot dinner as this got into my head as I LOVE YOU all so damn much

But God and The People Provided me dinner and I am up all night as I have the pain (this took it away) NICE

THANK YOU for allowing me into your life, home and hopefully we see each other soon but I need advanced rocket fuel now (OK, OK its KD) lol

O BTW I invested in OUR Churches Domain yesterday so to get here another way until it is up you can use the back door at (That is for The Church of The HOLY CUPCAKE)

Hope that brought you a smile (it was then worth the $66 for the next 2 years) enjoy the night (hug a tree or your S.O.) night for now

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