The End of The WANDERER

“[[THEY]]” yah all of you GOT ME i—It would take a year of pain and me going in my head TOTALLY –INSANE

This “event” however goes back to ‘my start of my sobriety” and how that there are Basically zero records of the total event

You do realize that this wound actually hurts me as it is a hole in my BODY an actual HOLE going at least 1.8cm Deep into my BODY

I am a little kid I am so sorry, and Tonight November 3, 2019 I am also VERY SAD as my Druggist has given me a hard time over a RX on Friday *as he was being proactive enough to ensure I had meds for Monday* and I called MY doctors Clinics *I have 2* (both mental & physical) and it worked out as my Team banded behind me, as I am not a bad person I hurt tonight and it is going to be worse at 9amn when I will only then be able to get my “FIX” / Suboxone 2mg (that will carry me for a few hours) ‘’’ ‘I am scared as I know he *druggist* is angry with me (I only needed to make sure I didn’t have to wait longer for pain relief (he doesn’t care) as if he bills at 9am or 12pm it is still money to him I just don’t want to suffer anymore

I am sorry

This wound / HOLE / pain scares me as it has started a year ago October 15, 2018 and has already cost me so much

It has also taught me much about Humanness – we hurt people we don’t understand for money (small amounts to)

And I have been hurt in ways we will NEVER understand *88 days @ 23 hours locked in a prison cell for calling (maybe) 911 / 12x – it was hard core – punishment for all the times I called between 1987-2013 (maybe) a lesson for Society (along with) me to learn (DON’T SCREW WITH 911) TORTURE for a 21st Century Schizophrenic who was walking 10+ miles a day, (maybe) lessons learned (YUP) but a great PSA – Freedom in this incredible society? (maybe) as I never saw my lawyer, was never in Court *torture* (maybe) they added to my mental health issues (you don’t know then I don’t) they NEEDED to teach me, I always pray at night now for my freedom the next day as we have no idea as to how short it is (mentally I am a f’n mess I am a lot of fear) elevators scare me now

It woke me up to OBEY rules

Police come over now on what is called a Welfare Check (nurses are concerned) hell I am concerned as it scares the hell out of me, as I am like a little kid (wish I could grow up) think that opportunity has come and well gone:

Even my apartment at times feels like a cage (this is one of the reasons I walk as much as I do) as cages freak me out – I am small at times like a child

Never did much of living (did a lot of drinking) A LOT’ and WEED (fucken Trudeau (ask him how much he and his family made in the GOLD (Acapulco Gold) Rush of Making Weed Legal In Canada and wait for the damn Duct tape to come off (they do not want too be seen as Drug Czars)

WEIRD THING IS I DON’T REMEMBER IT (most of it at all)

Alcohol and Drugs (weeds even) will do that unto you (mess up your brain mapping software and this is important

I can’t even go into a bar (at least at this stage [alone] as I am so scared of screwing up)

Going to post this now AS it is 600 words

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