I waited outside of Gethsemane most of if not all my adult life afraid of the Terms laid before me of the T.S.-100% ( Total Surrender 100%) to The Cross, and The Holy Father and Jesus Christ, I feared my own personal Crucifixion as I wasn't ready I screamed as I bitched to all that would listen and then there were no one that wanted / needed to hear it any longer and a Crucifixion is what it is painful , ugly, brutal and I still screamed, mine would last 310 days this last time, and then and this is new so very new as
Why was I taken to the Cross and Crucified in the first place?
Because I was not "Obedient" in listening to the Holy Father, as I have said there is only one thing on Earth I FEAR - that is GOD - as he is all knowing and well is GOD
And then it was over and I was taken off The Cross with a Second chance at life itself, to begin again in a "place" a "world" that I was totally unfamiliar with.
I had no idea as to where I was any longer
Confusion took over as the good had arrived and caught on and I didn't understand how I was so very blind for decades,
Today is day 19 (ya) just 19 since I was "allowed" a second chance, what will I do with it, as the choice is mine, as I maybe in Heaven now as all of this seems so very new and nothing at all makes sense to me
I made two (2) separate Covenant with the Holy Father to on, on my journey of my Holy Cross, t0 be "allowed" to be here today after a six (6) year quest to save my heart and soul and as I leave my home I realized lately that I ask God / Jesus to "not allow the physical world to control me" (this means my body to) as we are not our bodies we are essence a soul having a human experience
It is very rare that the "physical world" makes its way into my heart and soul as I have much now--and stuff is very very over rated as your phone won't help you on the Cross as "THERE IS (( NO )) APP FOR THAT"
The Covenants are as follows
1) April 22, 2014 =In the E.R.C. (Edmonton Remand Center) to Serve Mankind (that is how I got the Mad Hatter Experience Gig going and kept it going from October 1/2016 (when I landed here in Little Italy Edmonton Alberta , Canada-- You don't think there was any coincidence that this ( Italian Boy) would end up smack dab in the midst of this incredible community) as well as a stone throw away from the Nursing Home my mom spent her last years in. This was God and His Angels, that set this all up
2) April 22, 2019 in The Covenant Misericordia Hospital that I would increase my "Serving Of Man Kind, with more than just the Candy Mission - that I still run, but now I go without a meal some days so I can feed others - this is a very high privilege as I was homeless for 59 days, learning "Homelessness 101" at Christmas 2013, and have a understanding of how it works a bit better than some, and with addiction and mental health issues all over my life gives me plenty of places to send a dollar or two, it is still a very humbling experience to opening my refrigerator and seeing food in it
I was asked during my 310 day Crucifixion "what I was going to do when I got my life back", and I just didn't know as I wasn't sure I was coming back at all
Now I need a few days to re-think my life, finally
what I do know is that God is Good
thank you all