I am going to shave as I have a date with "my" library tomorrow as I finally get to drop off the university level wound text books as they saved my ass (literally) more than a few time in the 10+ weeks I had them out (thanks to "my" librarians who assisted me in tracking down what I needed) to "clam me the hell down" as I was a damn basket case for a very large part of my 310 day sentence in pain from HELL
Knowledge is the Key' Lo to most anything were faced with in life and our library's are a Mecca (my dad said before he passed in 1975 at the age of 45 "I don't care where you live even in a shoe box, have a library" he was very proud of the library he built in the Familial HOME at 44 Gresham Blvd, St Albert, Alberta Canada) he is till my inspiration as I attempt to add to "The Collection" monthly, it is around 1,600 books now
The Buprenorphine / Naloxone 2/0.5mg (1mg tablet) went up from a (1/2mg tablet) since August 8, 2019 to the evening dose on August 20, 2019 and it along with the injection for my schizophrenia med of Abilify Maintena of 400mg on August 19, 2019 seems to have altered my little itty bitty world totally as the pain has dropped from 7-10 levels to 2-4 levels--
As B.A.S.F. says "There Is Better Life Through Chemistry"
And I am having F.U.N. again-- been a very long time since this occurred, and yes it may have looked like I was having fun internally I was a mess as it was like I would smile and cry at the same time.
I remember months it was cold it was 8am and I was walking 111ave in my long coat and "pink gloves" and the "Big Green Hat" but I was a scared little man as it hurt and at times hurt really damn bad -- BUT --I made YOU smile didn't I? And it kept me alive as my goal was always "the next one" (get him / her to smile or wave) and that was all I needed to stay alive
It is amazing the mental trigonometry the mind can do to preserve its very life, and now "The Mad Hatter Experience" is going to roll out with his teams "The L.S.D. ex." and rebuild / reboot his life that was shattered for 10+ months and create a NEW HUMAN BEING from the old one.
Now for The Goo Times: August 21, 2019
Tylenol 1,000mg [pain level 4]
Buprenorphine / Naloxone 2/0.5mg (1mg tablet) [pain level 3] only the 2nd full dose and I am still getting used to it
Divalproex 750mg (mood med)
Pantoprazole Mag 40mg (tummy) "mommy my tummy hurts" "rub my belly"
Tylenol 1,000mg [pain level 2]
[pain level 2] legs are sore but i have been up all night (nervous as I have "PLASTICS" in a few hours)
Naproxen 500mg [pain level 2]
Gabapentine 300mg [pain level 3]
1pm (in PLASTICS office)
Tylenol 1,000mg [pain level 1]
This is where my life and world would change as the wound has healed, it makes no sense but a Plastic Surgeon must know what he sees, as the pain is down and drainage has been down for a few days / a week --in a few words that changed my life were spoken with much kindness "It has healed" (I broke down) as I was not planning on life as I was given the choice on December 27, 2018 by my last psychiatrist Dr P who said "You need to choose" (life or death) as your in the middle and it is no place to be" a few times I thought I choose Life, and then the Pain would overtake my capabilities and I would do anything to not feel the pain in my ass (as I had become a burden as I "became a pain in the ass, with my pain in the ass")
This was the best news I had ever in 58+ years received ever "IT HAS HEALED" 310 days of pain and suffering and wanting to die
And being dead inside
DR P---- TODAY I CHOOSE LIFE
THANK YOU FOR YOUR KINDNESS AND PATIENTS WHEN I WAS ANGRY WITH THE WORLD and YOU and Thank You for releasing me as YOU did in a very kind manner, still a fan of your painting
I had my legs both go like rubber at the University Train Station, was like I was finally able to let go.
I digress as this was "The Goo Times"
Gabapentine 600mg [pain level 2]
Buprenorphine / Naloxone 2/0.5mg (1mg tablet) [pain level 1]
Tylenol 1,000mg [pain level 3/4]
Naproxen 500mg [pain level 2]
The best day of my life as I am both clean and sober as 6.5 years, and my pain is down and my "plastics team" gave me a passing grade and my faith in God and Jesus has not been shaken
WOW and i get a NEW LIFE
And I was "allowed" to meet so many ANGELS in the 2,178 days of my kidnapping and I now know it was for my own good and I am incredibly grateful for the "divine intervention"
Thank YOU ALL