I am so screwed and now tonight besides the physical pain comes FEAR of my Personal Physician and what she will do to me for messing up on the Opiates (Codeine) for the first time in 7 months
She is going to make me suffer by going without medication for 3 days as I should be made to suffer as I screwed up on "Medication Management 101" as the pain has been that bad at levels 8-9.5 for that last few weeks as the damn holes in my body tear through as i was butter and they are "Hot Butter Knives"
She will likely ridicule me in front of her team and I will breakdown and then I will be shamed for that
She will throw a life system interrupter in by likely making me go to the drug store daily for 4 tablets, the druggist will be made richer as he bills the system daily for counting 4 pills into a vial
I do NOT want to go through this anymore as this damn experiment has finally broken my back and I see no point of going on anymore
But I will take the pain and humiliation as she is smarter than me and knows what I need it is just the pain I cannot take
except this time i end it all as this has become fucken silly as I am in real pain here why wouldn't i be after the past 10 months of HELL