The Wound Is Opened Again And I Am In Pain Again

Updated: Jul 4, 2020

Result: 623 days

It is 623 days from the start date to the end date, but not including the end date.

Or 1 year, 8 months, 14 days excluding the end date.

Or 20 months, 14 days excluding the end date.

That is that numbers since we first discovered the wound at "birth" on October 15, 2018 tonight I am scared and sad as I have had struggles in the life I have lead in the 59 years I have been here

My walking numbers are down in the last few days as I was doing 16KM then 10KM and lately I have been grounded to 2-3 KM a day

The worst thing is the pain that I am experiencing on a daily basis as this is the test of a lifetime that I would not wish on any other person EVER

IAM sorry if I have let anyone down in the last while as I considered this was something I thought / (mad hatter experience) hallucinated (a thought) was a job to make you happy and I took it seriously and don't like missing time at the JOB

My Cardio Team came into being over the last 623 days -- 20 months 14 days and my Heart Beat Per Minute is between 38 - 46 resting everyone is aware and knowing that we have very little that we can do to fix this

Then again dad passed away at 45 and I am 59 (I am so blessed) and I have been able to get clean and sober

Weed-- stopped March 18, 2006 started again in 2020 for a few weeks (clean again, and intend to stay that way, as the pain was helped only mildly, but I was desperate)

Smokes "nicotine" --- December 11, 2007 still stopped till now (started in 1987)

Opiates, clean from November 9, 2010 till January 3, 2019 (when I needed Tylenol 3, for the pain from the wound the first time around till August 8, 2019 when I was pulled off Codeine at 30mg x 6-7 x a day to Buprenorphine / Naloxone (where I am now)

Alcohol (for 38 years) I was able stop on February 15, 2013 and I am stopped until today (7 years, 4 months, 14 days)

Benzodiazepine, August 16, 2016 still good

You know there are so many ways to mess up your life and body and then we need the entrance of the doctors, and this is their field you play short times

Tonight I am scared, as I DON'T know what is going on at all ANYMORE

Even a smile is important and IAM and Have Been so very BLESSED by all of you and your smiles and waves

Wow I miss you all as the Doctors and Friends have been pleading for a reduce walking program

Thank you and Good Night my Friends


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