There Are Somethings in This World I Do Not Get: Like Stupidity > MINE as I can fix mine not yours'
I began on my Self-Directed Stupidity Improvement Program back when I began getting (SOBER) this move was no way intentional NO WAY (Start date = Feburary 15, 2013)
As you want to hear a few things that occur when you stop your / my drinking?
First you better own a BIG and I mean DAMN BIG TV or the Extra Money To Afford a 85 inch or larger set -- and a great collection of video games and 2 or 3 consoles
Next DO NOT STOP DRINKING as when you do, well say GOODBYE to pretty much all of your friends as you won't be going to the BARS and Grabbing a six / or twelve pack to bring home with you and if your actually thinking of going to your friends when they get back from the Bar (you can't as you will then need to have at least one beer) and you are screwed
I was in some weird mixed up QUITNET stop smoking group which while it helped some of us to stop smoking cigarette's it only transferred on addiction to another
Yeah I managed to stop smokes on December 11, 2007 --- November 13, 2022 = 14 years, 11 months and 2 days no shit as that was a long time ago and it took me another 3 long drug filled OPIATE USE YEARS of shit living as there is no way to live and take OPIATES daily I am now as I was in serious PAIN after THE HEART SHAPED HOLE in my Tailbone (which I think was by design) to actually get me into the Hospital as this is where the BIG BUCKS ARE MADE --- but that is a thought and I know shit about anything
The last remaining VICE was booze and a tracker would follow me to the store and tip the two girls well (Hey you know they actually destroyed totally with MASSIVE CATERPILLAR EARTH AND BUILDING CRUSHING MACHINES, THEY ARE GONE, THAT IS WEIRD AS THEY TOOK BOTH OF THEM OUT ON BOTH ENDS OF THE STREET OF "well No Dreams" as this BOOZE stuff can suck every dream you ever had as a child or adult out of you and leave you hungover and a massive pounding headache in the morning
And that is when it started 930am in this screwed up the Day after Valentines Day dream I was thinking I was having yah until the POUNDING on the damn front door of 1301e my apartment I was allowed to occupy it was the POLICE (YUP) Two City of Edmonton Police Service Officers and one of then went straight to the bookshelf in the Living Room while the other one came straight at me as I was attempting to figure out where all the pills were as this seemed like it was going to be a morning I wish I never drank 4 liters of cheap wino wine the night before (yah I can / could drink big fuc&Ken deal) and the Officer in front of me seems okay with me popping Benzodiazepine's by what seemed the handful as I don't remember much as the damn wine at 930am was still very fresh in my body and brain and I was shaking like I was hanging on earth pounders and I am eating pill after till he said something I will never forget again EVER as he said " you threatened to punch your psychiatrist in the head over the phone to his receptionist " like this was not likely good news but it was really weird as they went away pretty much after saying that I was NOT in handcuffs I was not beaten they just went away
And I am sitting there at 10AM now and I am wondering what the heck just occurred as I didn't remember at all saying those words and why would I allow his receptionist advance knowledge that I was going to punch her boss in the head
And I sat there and thought and thought about it and I was unable to find the same words somewhere in my brain / mind and now I was getting concerned as WTH as if I had forgotten this what else had I forgot after one to many drinks (and with me back then it was never ever one to many your need a few more fingers to figure out how more drinks I had after that one to many seriously I was a drunk)
I had this great mirror in the bathrooms and I went and looked in to it and I did NOT ACTUALLY LIKE WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT
I then called the clinic where I worked at and asked if I could see an Alcoholic Counselor and I was told NO I was not going to be to that
Then I walked somehow till I found a shopping cart in the area and then I brought it up the elevator into my suite and began moving all the 2 liter bottles from this Castle like Turret on the Balcony to the Cart and then we were off to the Bottle Depot as I was going to push this damn shopping cart through my neighborhood full of them wine bottles as I needed to embarrass me, to me at least
Then I went home, and I was not feeling good as shit I drank since 1975 about a day after my Dad passed away February 19, 1975 till today February 15, 2013 some
37 years, 11 months and 24 days
Wow looking at that makes me shudder as wow why am I not dead, or something holy heck I almost drank for 38 freaking years before
The City of Edmonton Police Service Officers came into my HOME & LIFE & WORLD and why did they conspire to do this
Sitting here right now I don't even know if any of this is real as shit my first Christmas of Sobriety I was in The Herb Jamison Men's Houseless Shelter ( The Mission or Mansion as I had to Reword it for my mind using a NLP Technique (NLP = Nero Linguistic Programming ) called Reframing as I also did this with just being as we had to be up and out at 730 or 8am and then it was for me as I had a few dollars over to the EPCOR Tower as there was a great little cafe on Main Floor and the Security would go crazy with me daily as I had money and I wanted a muffin and some coffee, and then I would jump the train and leave the whole area yah I Reframed The Day to as I would end up on The Southside at Southgate Mall where I would listen to my music (iPhone) yup a homeless eaten a Muffin and coffee at a nice place getting on a train and traveling across the river just so I didn't need to think HOUSELESS all day -- and the day is long so I would invest probably 2-3 hours attempting to find a place and get a little bit more food for the day then (before the Pantry I set up was up) it was back to the Mansion and one night it was a weird night as I was just by the EPCOR Tower facing the Mansion and Barenaked Ladies came on the iPhone and then I swear I did no drink or drugs while there at all it was close to be in bed (or be bed less, think 9--930pm) and the dampest thing as the whole wall of the Tower started a Light Show to the Music now I know that you people are good to me (THANK YOU ALL) but this was way too much I just stood there and was mesmerized by the incredible beauty of neon blue lights blinking and twinkling I can't remember the song but hell it was 2013 to early 14
Yah I did Merry Christmas 2013 in The Men's Houseless Shelter in Edmonton Alberta and I was mentally screwed all day and the meal a friend bought (I have no idea what a strofoam box of steamed white rice with 6-8 small strips of some sort of meat on it would cost along with a bottle of water -- it would not have been as bad if when we got back out to his car I asked for a ride back to the shelter and he said " NOPE I AM GOING FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER WITH THE FAMILY " ( you will hear why he needed to make my Houseless / Homeless shelter Christmas even more depressing than it was ) has to do with BOOZE as you see some people that still drink and the other person has stopped as I was on day 313 or 10 months 10 days of my sobriety (and it was a sad day as he would be the only person I would see that day from the past and it gets weirder and weirder as we grew up down the street from each other and went to school & church together (he was one of the bullies at school, and this is and was the same behavior except that he has now at that day some real serious training in how to be a Mental Bully Legally and Be Paid For It as he is / was a phycologist at the first place I was locked in as me 37 months REHUMANIZING PROGRAM BEGAN on September 4, 2013 to December 4, 2013 (three months) and this place the ASYLUM one (I call it ) at the University of Alberta Mental Health Unit could damn well play some serious mind games on one person and if they had a while to set the DRAMA UP like when the stashed me at another Hospital until they were ready (and the Game began even at Hospital One / The Royal Alex as when I was brought in by two city police officers the waiting room in the busiest hospital in Edmonton was empty no shit as it is never empty EVER)
We I guess ALL LOVE PLAYING MIND GAMES (right?)
I still had teeth and I didn't see that YANKING OUT ALL MY TEETH as a part of any weird MENTAL HEALTH GAME I had ever been in as shit people 22-23 Teeth in about 45 minutes with WTF ZERO FREEZING & NO SCREAMING AS CHILDREN WERE IN HER CLINIC okay, she invited GUESTS to the TORTURE session of Lucien Faciote (Yah Me) at the near end of the
37 plus months of LEARNINGS and TORTURES you know that they knew I would never toss my toys out of my toybox even after I needed to be RETRAINED TO PISS when they hauled my ass back to the ASYLUM AHE again as it would be another few months as the incredible TEAM on 10-2A under the Great Doctor I had as we would meet daily and she would bring a single bag of a variety of herbal teas and always with her warning " be careful it is very hot " and then we would start to talk and then a piece of imported dark chocolate
this last few months everyone in the hole hospital yup Alberta Hospital Edmonton KNEW I got seriously fucked over
I remember my first morning I had breakfast and it was made up just for me as we had to test drive all my foods for a while as no one knew what the hell we were going to do
except that I was for sure SERIOUSLY TRAUMATIZED THIS TIME, and they were kind as even when i would freak they would put me in the isolation room shut the door and it would never be locked again ... the whole fucken thing was something we all could have maybe learned a lot of shit from as it went way to far with the DAMN TEETH THING
That first morning that shit DR THAKKER showed up in my UNIT and wanted to shake my hand (I remember looking at him like a piece of shit that he was as this fucken game I no longer will EVER IN THE DAMN REST OF MY LIFE ON THIS FUCKEN PLANET WILL I EVER EVER GET TO BITE INTO A CRISP APPLE OR PEAR OR SO MANY FOODS THAT WE SHOULD EAT --- YOU CAN --PEOPLE OF THE WORLD
THIS IS WHAT YOU DO TO HUMANS THAT GET FUCKEN RAPED IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL I GUESS YOU JUST KEEP FUCKING THEM UNTIL THEY DIE
LIKELY BY THEIR OWN HANDS AS THIS ALONG WITH THE SILLINESS OF EVEN MIXING MENTAL MEDICINE WITH DAMN OPIATES WHICH LEADS TO SUICIDE IDEATIONS , THAT IS THE DAMNEST THING AS i AM STUPID BUT FUCK I HAVE OUD AND IF YOU DAMN DOCTORS DON'T KNOW ASK ( NO ONE ASKED AS WHEN OFFICERS CHRIS & JOSH WHO ATTENDED AT MY HOME HERE ON JANUARY 2 & 3 2019 A FEW FUCKEN DAYS AFTER DR ARRIEANA KING CUT HER FUCKEN HEART SHAPED HOLE IN THE LITTLE WOUND IN MY TAIL BONE ON NEW YEARS EVE DECEMBER 31, 2018 AND WHEN I ASKED LITTLE CONVERSE RUNING SHOE DR ARRIANNA KING WHAT IT WAS SHE SAID IT IS LIKE SOMETHING I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE (THIS WAS AFTER SHE CUT ME) THE NEXT SESSION WITH HER WOULD BE WORSE AS SHE DID A BONE BIPSY WITH AGAIN ZERO FREEZING (TOLD YOU THAT THESE DAMN DOCTORS HAVE USED ME FOR DECADES AS A TESTING EXPERIEMNT AND THEY FUCKED UP MULTIPLE TIMES KNOWINGLY
ON JANUARY 3, 2019 WHEN THE SAME TWO OFFICERS THAT WERE HERE ON JANUARY 2, 2019 ( CHRIS & JOSH ) FINALLY HAD ENOUGH AND HAD ME PUT SHOES ON AND TOOK ME TO THE ROYAL ALEX HOSPITAL UNDER DR TEZ WHO TRIED ALL NIGHT (MORNNG TILL AROUND 2PM AND BOBBY JO STOPPED IN AS THE HOSPITAL AND BOBBY KNEW I WAS OUD (OPIATE USE DEPENDANT ) MEANING DO NOT FEED THIS ANIMAL FUCEKN OPIATES -- WELL THEY DID, NAH THEY DIDN'T AS THEY SENT ME TO HAVE A SESSION WITH MY FAMILY DR --- DR GINNETTA SALVALIGGIO A TEACHER OF OTHER DOCTORS ( AND I PRETTY MUCH HAD TO GET ON MY FUCKEN KNEES AND BEG TO NOT GET TYLONEL #3 SHE IT WAS YOU ARE GOING ON THEM OR YOU HAVE NO DOCTOR, THEY JUST CUT ME OPEN 4 DAYS AGO WITH HER FRIEND DR KING THE CUTTER OF THE
HEART SHAPED HOLE ON MY TAIL BONE
THIS WAS ABUSE AS I WAS HOPING FOR HELP AND I BECAME THEIR TOY
OH, I FORGOT AS DR ARRIEANA KING WAS COMMENTING SHE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT (THE WOUND SHE JUST CUT OPEN) SHE BEGAN TO STROKE MY HAIR LIKE YOU WOULD STROKE A PUPPY DOG, and being a PUPPY has benefits (MAYBE?) I do NOT KNOW MUCH no more
AND NOW THEY ALL OWN ME
LUCIEN THE LIGHT II
THE SLAVE OF THE WORLD
OH MAN WHAT AN HONOR AS WHO ELSE GETS THIS HONOR WOULD YOU BELEVE MILLIONS OF MEN, WOMEN AND CHILDREN
YUP
CONVERTED JUST LIKE THAT
IT IS ALL I EVER REALLY WANTED WAS TO SERVE GOD, I SERIOUSLY KID YOU NOT THE HUMANITY PART
YOU KNOW I HAVE BEEN SERVING HUMANITY AS I WALK ABOUT WITH A DAMN SILLY BIG GREEN FUCKEN HAT THAT IS NOW BASICALLY ONE OF THE ONLY WAYS THE PAIN GOES AWAY A BIT
DOCTORS ALL OF YOU I FORGIVE YOU ALL
I JUST HOPE THAT WE AS A SPEICES DID LEARN SOMETHING BY TORTURING ME FOR 39-40 YEARS
LIKE HOLY SHIT MOST OF THE PEOPLE I COMMUNICATE WITH ARE NOT EVEN THAT OLD -- BUT SOMEONE HAD TO BE THE
EXPERIMENTAL LITTLE PUPPY BOY
LET'S TAKE LUCIEN AS HE ALREADY HAS NO ONE AND NO ONE WILL SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ANY OF THE THINGS WE DO TO IN THE NAME OF MEDICINE AND MENTAL HEALTH & ADDICTIONS
OH GOD & JESUS CHRIST PLEASE MY LORD TAKE ME AND FORGIVE ALL OF THOSE THAT HAVE HURT ME ALL THE TIME YOU ALLOWED ME TO BE ALONE IN THIS CRAZY FUCKED UP PLACE YOU SENT ME
AFTER JEAN AND HER FRIEND KAYE WENT TO THE HOLY ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH FOR 13 YEARS TO PRAY THE ROSARY THAT JEAN COULD GIVE EDGAR A SON
MOM YOU DID GIVE YOU HUSBAND OF MANY YEARS A SON I SHOWED UP AND I HAVE NO IDEA AS TO WHY AS THIS IS A DAMN CRUEL WORLD THAT DID EVERYTHING IT WANTED ON MY BODY WHICH NEVER EVEN BELONGED TO ME AS THIS BODY AS IT IS WITH MY SOUL HAS ALWAYS BELONG TO THE HOLY FATHER IN HEAVEN AND HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS ALSO MY PERSONAL SAVIOR AS HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR MY SINS AND THE SINS OF EVERYONE THAT HURT ME EITHER PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY OR IN ANY OTHER WAY AS GOD & JESUS I BEG YOU TO FORGIVE MY TORMENTERS AS THEY DID NOT KNOW WHAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY DOING TO ME AS EVERY KNIFE OR CUT THEY DID UNTO ME UNKNOWINGLY THEY DID UNTO YOU AND THEMSELVES
GOD, I BEG YOU WITH WHAT IS HOPEFULLY ONE OF MY LAST BREATHES TO STOP ALL THE PEOPLE OF THIS EARTH FROM MAKING WAR WITH EVERYONE ELSE AND WORK ON SAVING THEMSELVES AND THEIR CHILDREN, AND CHILDRENS CHILDREN
GOD BLESS EVERYONE OF YOU AND I AM SO SAD RIGHT NOW AND I AM SORRY IF I CAUSED ANYONE ANY PAIN OR DISCOMFORT MYSELF AS THIS WAS NEVER EVER MY INTENTION
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
LUCIEN THE LIGHT II
NOVEMBER 13, 2022
I just came back and this new RE-TRAINED way of pissing sitting down as of all the messing around your medicines and scalpels did unto me but it is okay I am used to this now and I have a stash of a book reader, and a few books near-bye so i study as i either piss or shit now thanks to Dr Thakker of Chemistry to get my primed to meet the Sadistic Dentist from HELL who I met in a bad dream and I forgive her and her team as I do not know nor understand any of the why of all the PAIN & SUFFERING and Mental Shit I now have to experience every time I see a human with TEETH (You know the oldest living human on record was Lucy named after a Beatles song, she has better dental hygene than do I and this is some really screwed up stuff really screwed up and you the CUTTER my Plastic Surgeon Dr Joshua Wong why what the hell were you all thinking in that surgical suite on April 11, 2019 was Dr Arrianna King in the surgical suite making suggestions for the new puppy boy you were making up with all the equipment, along with my $ 150 / day bed x 47 and the Wound Vac at $ 125 / day x 30 (maybe 29) I have no idea at all as to what you could have actually gained if you got what they gave you and you sold your soul (damn bad that is a seriously damn screwed up deal as do you have any idea all of as to the actual length of eternity is you know it is like FOREVER really please do not tell me that you didn't know this going in -- remember you all accountable for your own stuff you do / did -- I forgive you myself but I can never ever do it for GOD and I don't I asked will see
I am finally maybe allowed to find someone that may care with TOUGHNESS it is all I need to be content as I do NOT see me anymore being here for a very long time, as Mankind has already pushed way beyond
The Point of NO RETURN
I didn't do all this damage to a planet that I was allowed to witness when I was awaken on August 16, 2022 after being dead for a very long period and after a period of August 12, to 16, --2022 when I was thinking and feeling I was DEAD as that awakening was fucken horrible as my mind and body and brain and well every damn part of the Light was flickering and I was all alone and God & Jesus Christ and That One Angel that allowed me to awaken and then I had a session with the Best Psychiatry outpatient ) that is all my service to Mankind called and was late and I foolishly called her on it for the last time ever as she also a phrase she then said she was now disallowing me to use --- later on August 16, 2022 her receptionist E that till this day seemed as though she liked me not called me on the phone to advise me that Dr wanted me to appear in person which was something I had been dreaming for a long period and it blew my little chemically fucked up (39-40 years of BIG PHARMA) mind as I do NOT know and I DO NOT see how 25 years of OPIATES along with all the Mental Medications (M&M)'s did not destroy everything that sits up there somehow as GOD BUILT my damn BRAIN / MIND / BODY to fucken last GOD BUILT = Mental Medicine & Opiate Resistant over well shit how many times -- was I in a ER (you do now do know & understand that you / me / the society in which we all share should NEVER MIX THESE things together (I learned this on the Penthouse level 3rd of the Jail POD in my Baby doll Outfit I was trying on the day after my birthday February 5th, 2014 when a GREAT NURSE I was introduced to for my first time the exact day my LEARNING PROGRAM BEGAN on September 4, 2013 when I was brought in from the Royal Alex, her name is Johanna and this is one serious crazy NURSE that knows much more than anyone in all the days I was given these crazy mixed up medications for when I was first start I betcha this young lady that taught me more when she freaked at me when I was locked in my cage in my baby doll outfit the day after my fucken birthday February 4, 2014 when MR BRAIN HERE decided to strangle himself (yah me lol) with a 12 inch Prison Towel lol (I have no idea as to how long I was left up there to think this shit out) but me and my FAVORITE NURSE on the start of the 37 plus month weirdness LEARNING PROGRAM from HELL started on September 4, 2013 she was sitting at the nurses station and I was there and as Sam. & John & Karen will testify I was way the hell out of control so when this little Blonde NURSE that I had never seen nor met before says to me " go to your room and shut up, or I will put you to sleep for 5 days " I am new here to Military Psychiatry (and I have seen her 5x now and 2x she was in Military Garb and this isn't no Bullshit I promise and when you have massive Military Helicopters buzzing a few hundred feet over your damn head when you are out walking around (this was way later in this MISSION you / one / me has to damn well wonder who is actually running this fucken movie on me
I anyways that September 4, 2013 am really, really HIGH MANIC (or whatever you wish to call this shit they say / think / know I suffer with) I say to this little, blonde and beautiful young NURSE the wrong thing I say
"Ok bring it on"
and the next thing I remember it is not the same day nor the next or next in fact I had no freaken idea at all to what day it actually was as I was so seriously fucked up as she nailed me and I still have no damn ideas what they do to get you comfy in a bed as once they do be very, very prepared for a very long nap ( and I mean it was days and I had never been knocked out like this ever --- ever as it was like shut up and try and be invisible as these are damn crazy people that are running the show up here and never ok I had this injection 5x in three months (once I actually asked for it as they ran a A&D Test and then no one even can tell me what the HELL this was as they take a Male and a Female and they each get 30 minutes to ask Questions and basically DESTROY the SUBJECT (ME) and then the Girl had to escort me to the unit as I was a damn basket case as Janice a nurse or aid who hooked me up to this damn test A&D is so damn sorry and after I walked (like that PUPPY right) up my CAGE I escaped and ran down the hall jumped a elevators and headed for the Phsycratry Unit where this damn test took place and I could not find any of them (they had a two way mirror / window and a room full of humans behind it damn fucken MILITARY EXPERIMENTS on me a damn civilian WHY I would make my way back up to the CAGE and track down my nurse and basically beg for a shot as I knew the name of this knock you out and you wake up and shit goes everywhere drug (think about it) I has no ideas as to who cleans this up but wasn't me (first time = Mr Benson) it was weird really weird and I know that I am a subject in a massive global experiment -- as I am walking my area (big fucken kennel where they have allowed me, and a couple of beautiful angels stop me as I am dressed as The Mad Hatter Experience and they asked for a picture not that unusual for me and wasn't then as people taken pictures of the Mad Hatter Experience all the time but then I asked to have her send me a copy and it is weird as she writes her email out and it is
(blank)experiment@gmail.com
Oh great this gets even weirder as I am up by the apartment and a young lady passes bye and we chat for a second and her hair was purple and then I asked her name as she was pretty so she says " Lilly " and she then says, " and you are my "Favorite Human Experiment" no kidding and this whole game EXPERIMENT that I likely am in and will be in till my end days as Lilly's ( and who else's ) damn
FAVORITE HUMAN EXPERIMENT
FUCKEN
Why? And why me? And why now, as the world has [entered the Age of Extinction] as the end times are here
And like why the hell did I just happen to endure everything that I had done unto me, I never hurt anyone I do not think as I don't do this stuff
I thinks I do, actually I thinks much as what I was before I was really
You see I will never know what I am, as if we search the net for me, we find no one but me as I was
the son of Edgar
who was the Son of Lucien