Updated: Jul 21, 2019

Had a session with one of my pain specialist professionals (OK she is a doctor, or at least plays one in this mixed up silly drama I went and got myself "trapped" in a very long, long time ago before the internet was born, and maybe even before you were born) the day was March 15. 1985 -- wow has it really been that long?

Yup it was aisle 6 at Western Grocers Edmonton Warehouse while preparing a massive order for a new player in the Edmonton food scene The Real Canadian Super Store there was 2 or 3 locations at that time, and for any member of the team a good size order could get our piece count of 1360 cases for a 8 hour shift (170 boxes a hour) you had to hustle and I remember the exact item it was a 12/2kg flour and i needed it off the 3rd tier and we only had one forklift in the house at that time, as someone was sick and a battery was out

damn it is like yesterday (it was between 330pm and 8pm) as it was early in my shift and the order i was given to extract from the racks was over 1,800 units so i needed to hustle even more this particular day

I would spend at the time from that date March 15, 1985 up until November 9, 2010 trapped on a endless cycle of (well doctor to doctor) Opiate to Opiate from Tylenol 3 to Percet then Oxycontin to Methadone in all 25 years 7 months and 26 days (and there were only in actuality 4 doctors) just at that period of so called civilization (history of Opiates) we didn't know what we know now.

I needed to get "myself clean" at the end as the doctor said it was "NEVER" going to hapen as getting off Methadone is not like stopping Aspirin

I was tired as i had just stopped smoking weed after 31 years, smoking after 20 years and i pretty much needed a challenge (I was a real hard kid to amuse as a child) as Horses, race cars were even boring after a while

So I needed a demon and Methadone would provide it, and i actually had no idea as i knew no one that had pulled it off, many that had attempted and succumbed to fall back on to her,

It was April 16, 2010 sitting in Dr John's H, (name shielded to protect the not so innocent who i used in the process of getting clean, and did i use him) he started it and i had to end it

And i had no role models (a NLP technique i somewhat had studied but I had none) I was on my own as i have been for most of my short life.

He called me a "slave" and at that point he drew "first blood" I moved "my" Pawn and cornered his King and the game was on, as in rapid motion (a verbal jest I told him) "I am no ones [slave] yet and if i was she has yet to be hired as my mistress"

NOt kidding as he started it

and i detest bullies with a passion the pharmacy (Rexal) hey I didn't start this and they are not that all innocent even if they own a sports team: advised 3-4% reduction in a week I told them to screw themselves and fill the orders

It took 208 damn hard days and i went through HELL some weeks i cut 10-20% one week was 40% (Over-Achiever) however a bloody Einstein I was not (only in the movie) I wasn't that weel as having a shower was like getting shot by a million pellet guns all over my body

and I was clean for a while until the HOLY HOLE (see other posts) and a escorted ride into a local hospital, by the City Police. Where for 12 hours a ER doc on January 3, 2019 would attempt to get me to take a damn Tylenol # 3 for the obvious pain she could see i was in, I flat out refused and had 975 mg of plain Tylenol *3 regular tablets* instead --tehn she shipped me to see my "personal physician" who actually plays a doctor sometimes in my "drama" who was in conversation all night with the ER doc to attempt to get me to lighten up and take a damn Tylenol # 3

So leaving my home at 5am on January 3rd 2019 clean for 8 years, 1 month, 26 days in horrendous pain with a HOLE In my body the size of a Toonie (Silver Dollar) 3.5cmx3,5cm and 1.5cm deep, I broke down and followed my personal physicians orders took the junkie express (bus) home had the prescription filled and took the first of a daily stream of Tylenol # 3's again-- the beginning of the end started on January 3rd at 4pm when i took that damn Opiate

But this is where it just had to get screwy as i had surgery on April 11, 2019 and now teh HOLE / bedsore, is morphed into what the TEAM is calling "Sinus Tract Wounds" and i have a 2.2cm one a 2cm one and a 6cm worrisome one and its 1.5cm deep, these wounds are under your skin and the only way to see how they are doing is to stick a stick in the sinus tract wound itself

hardcore tattoo

Just yesterday July 18, 2019 I asked for a little bit more codeine as i get 30mg (4x) a day and it gets to level +8 all the time, and its nerve pains and it actually hurts, but it gets even worse as i asked for an extra can of ensure a day as diet is vital in healing wounds, and was refused as I buy things

The hell I buy things I am clean and sober, but then again books are things and i buy books

Once again the doctor started this, and now this is my counter move

Its 727pm MST and my pain level is +8 and i am now "allowed" a Opiate

Keep in mind I am still clean and sober for 6.5 years and she can never take this from me




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