We All Know Just How Bad This Actually Is -- Right?

I have to keep fighting as a Warrior would -- As you all know and understand that my "time line" here in this incarnation is rather limited (ya I even think so) as it just keeps getting worse and worse:


This all began with a Hole the size of a dime: (that was it), on October 15, 2018 and it has now changed me and everything around me, likely forever as I am not the same, nor will I ever be again

I still am being encouraged to hang on to "hope" (but it has become so very hard) pretty much everyday now has a emotional meltdown of some sorts (then there is my lashing out at the world around me)


New drug is an antibiotic call Cefixime and even though it is one dose a day (it is kicking me all around the room) for the first 8 business days of October I have health related appointments and that is with my psychologist dropping out while ( I / we ) attend to the new physical illnesses that have appeared


New drug is an antibiotic call Cefixime and even though it is one dose a day (it is kicking me all around the room)

I must have really "pissed / irked" someone off --as this is insane


And I can't get high, nor drunk (wow) no state changers allowed unless you all "allow" them in


But I get it -- Society Needed a Role Model -- So lets pick on a most unlikely candidate we can, The Mad Hatter-- astounding -- I get picked finally and it isn't last to embarrass me this time:


I could get "high and or drunk" (but I know how it would let so many people down that have seen me stay "strong") --But that is a damn JOKE as what the "people [ya all of you do NOT see, is the meltdowns that are now occurring daily as I just need to escape"]


There is nothing left of me at this point


And I am holding on dearly to being both "clean & sober" not just for you but my best friend AK (who needs me on this one


I am so sorry for my behavior as I am surely entering a place I never saw a coming and it is INSANE


i JUST WANT OUT


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