Well Were At Day 23 Of This Hell I Stepped Into

And I can't do it -- the pain is way out of control so I am up to 8 tablets or 16mg today I still feel like I got my ass kicked and with a few days to go till I am 60 years old I think I just might leave the crazy shit to the youngsters as this last while has been crazy and I was already pretty much screwed up in the head (it from the mercury) "they think"


The fact that I lived to 60 after beating the crap out of my body and mind with weeds and alcohol for as long as 38 years and I am still upright somehow is kind of amazing --my liver is still in tact and functioning which says a lot about luck of horseshoes


Hey I am coming up on 8 years of sobriety (alcohol) on the 15th of February did 13 years without a cigarette on December 11, 2020 and today is 190 days without the weeds "they" say it is better this way with the schizoaffective disorder so once again I defer to the youngsters as I always shared and we smoked lots, did it create the illness no way to figure out but drug induced psychosis isn't fun from what I witnessed during my stay at AHE


Pain it screws with everything and relationships -- I hate what this experiment did as I hurt people by being just cranky as level 9 where I have been for 3-4 days now at least


If I hurt any of you in any way shape or form please accept my apology as I need to get back on the horse and do it again once I feel a little bit better as today is over


Good Night and God Bless YOU ALL

Lucien

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