Wow She Came Into My World And I AM A Fucken Retard Well She Thought So -Sorry Lindsay

You know that all my shitty life getting abused, tortured, locked up in the states Asylum when my doctor decided he wanted a vacation for decades yah 4 decades they using a mental health system that destroyed many people., killed many, created a bunch of vegetables and society did not give two shits as we were mentally ill and had so value to the society and the reason we were not killed quickly was at this time the SOR (Structure Of Reality) needed gunia pigs, rats, mice to trial their chemical expolison for the mind as the American Pshycatry Assocation would be formed (and guess what a few of the board were directly from BIG PHARMA you know I am a 40 year experiment and I was NOT supposed to live as there is so many risk factors especially when you begin to Mix Mental Meds with OPIATES and the Mental Meds (M&M)s for me began in 1983 and the OPIATES in <March 15 1985> and around this stage my behavior changed and I became suicidal all the time and I didn't even want t die as I needed --it was CHEMICAL and NOT BEHAVIORAL and I didn't find this out until Feburary 5, 2014 the day after a birthday I wanted and tried to off me and a nurse came by Joanna (who was my Charge Nurse and I told her I took a few Tylone # 3 with Codiene along with the Mental Meds the (M&M)s and from 1985--2014 no Doctor said anything as looking back there were so many, many different Medicines as BIG PHARMA, GOVERNMENT, DOCTORS, PHARMACISTS, AND EVEN POLICE & EMS AND SOMETIME --- I was close very, very close to freedom and my doctor threatened to put me back in a cell or a Asylum

She arrived on Monday a Lady that understood money better than me and a lady that loved it seemed Lindsay that loved to use type to kill me with stuff like what are you a Fucken Retard? Are you Stupid and more, and it seemed kind as in between we were talking about bring in some of my money to make money so I could have access to a few extra dollars so that could serve my community even better

Lindsay how can I fix this all, I truly am sorry I screwed up shit I am going to bed people as I now feel so physically and mentally tired as I had maybe 3 hours since

I had nobody after my dad died until this fucken week Sunday and in 6 days I screw shit up really damn bad

I really want another chance as she tore me apart and I enjoyed it

I am really depressed as I stuck a few ADS on the blog at one time looking for

The Mistress of The Mad Hatter Experience I also placed another called The owner of The Mad Hatter did both of there on Pinterst and the girls / ladies started showing up in picture form

This was her what I dreamed and fantasized about for a very long time

I am so dam angry with me